Being a Peacemaker

In church a few weeks ago, I was asked to give the lesson in Relief Society (women's group).  I'm not a fan of speaking in front of groups. Honestly, who is?  I mean, seriously.  I envy those who do it well because I don't.  Things sound so much better when I'm talking to myself in the shower.  

I took it for an opportunity to learn something and this challenge did not disappoint.

I chose to speak on attitude.  Our group of women ranges from young mothers with kidlets crawling all over them to women advanced in age enough to cough dust (bless their hearts.)  It usually a room full of really amazing women.  I used a few good resources, like this post here called Drops of Awesome.  I also used a story from a friend of mine that goes thusly...

Attitude There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror   And noticed she had only three hairs on her head.   'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.' So she did and she had a wonderful day.  The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror And saw that she had only two hairs on her head. 'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.' So she did and she had a grand day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed That she had only one hair on her head. 'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'  So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
And noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

'Hooray!' she exclaimed. 

'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

Attitude is everything.

Love it.

I also talked about the Beattidues as discussed in the Bible, Matthew chapter 5.  As I read and studied different points I wanted to make, I realized what a gift they are as a guideline of how we should be.  Of how our attitudes should be.  BE humble, BE nice, BE meek, etc.  

Then I came to Peacemaker.

For my whole life and then some I've thought a peacemaker just didn't fight.  One that would take the high road and just turn away to avoid angst.  I was always a little conflicted regarding it. I'm not a bully.  It's not in my nature.  I don't holler louder than you to get my way.  When confronted with conflict I typically comply, shrink, and immediately find something to clean.  I hate feeling like I'm being used.  I don't want to make it sound like I never stand up for myself because I do.  And I yell at my kids plenty.  With friends growing up, I usually did what they wanted, ate where they wanted, saw the movies they wanted.  Partly because at that time I didn't necessarily have an opinion of my own.  Partly because I didn't really care, I just wanted to be out of the house having fun.  Partly because I wasn't confident enough to stand my ground. I did have a moral compass and conscience though, and I didn't follow them blindly.  

We'll just say I was easy going.

The problem was that I got taken advantage of.  A lot.  I had a friend that was manipulative and needy.  Thought I could fix her.  Couldn't.  And that's a story for another day.

So back to peacemaker.  I realized studying this time around that there's nothing noble in letting anyone treat you badly.

A peacemaker is one who strives for, and creates peace for those around her.

Well, duh.

That makes so much more sense!  I AM a peacemaker, through and through.  

Oh, the implications.

At home I don't like conflict.  I don't like habitual crankiness, unkind words, harshness, etc.  So instead of reacting and grabbing the nearest rag to wipe something down, I should act and chart a course that will help us all ultimately be more happy.  I know I have a huge affect on the mood in our house.  I feel the existing mood when I walk through the door, and I have to remember to act - not react.  I also believe we all have a right to be in a bad mood from time to time but it should be the exception, not the norm.  We're here to help each other out.  

Is that hard to balance?  Youbetcha.  Is it worth giving a shot?  Absolutely.

We have a long way to go, but we already do things that help us create peace.  

We pray.  As a family, before meals, etc.  For ourselves and for each other.  It's not always lovely, but it's real.

We do a lot of stuff together.  We watch TV and movies together and monitor Netflix and the computer (much to their chagrin sometimes.)  The kids know what the rules are.  And in the doing of the stuff we do together we try to have fun and laugh.  A lot.

Just to name a few.

Being a peacemaker doesn't mean you become a door mat.  It means you actively seek the spirit and share the peace it brings with others.