Moments

I need a new towel rack in the kid's bathroom.

The old one got bent, broken and somehow magically put a small round hole in the wall all by itself without any help from the kids.

We also have an older-than-dirt single square rod in there, circa 1978 thank you very much, that is stuck to the wall.  It's old enough that I'm really hoping the glue in said stickiness will just sort of flake away from the wall.  I don't think I'm going to be that lucky.  I got a board and some hooks and I'm making one to hang up. I'm relatively handy with paint and power tools, so the making of it doesn't concern me too much.

I pulled out the board and paints last night and set down to paint away.

Lu wanted to paint too and at first I kind of brushed her aside and said something like, "No, just give me 5 minutes and I'll be done."

I get like that sometimes.  I admit, I'm a little anal (ok, a LOT.)  Sometimes I. Just. Want. To. Get. It. Done. By. My. Self.

Sweet little Lu asked me a couple more times and I finally had this conversation in my head...

"You know Self, you really can be a jerk some times.  How else is she going to learn to paint, if not from you?  Get over your not-wanting-to-have-a-mess-to-clean-up-ness and PAINT with the girl!  She will have fun.  You will laugh.  She will learn from you.  She might make a mistake (gasp!) and look to you for validation that she's ok.  Validate her.  You're going to make a memory either way.  So make this be a good one, instead of another project you wouldn't let her be a part of."

I told her to grab a paintbrush and get painting.

She beamed.  She was SO careful.  We had fun.  No messes were made.

She's not the one who rose to the occasion, it was me that changed.

I get wound pretty tight and get stuck in the grind.  Get the dishes done, get the food cooked, start another load of laundry that will never end, the cat box needs cleaning, I just stepped on a lego, someone's shoes are in the entry again, and why are his shorts in the middle of the living room, clean up, clean up, clean up.  I already feel like I'm always about 2 days behind on EVERYTHING.  And sometimes I think if I just have 5 minutes to get something done I can get it done, with no helpers.

But the helpers are way more important.

I'm a bit of a control freak too.

I seriously need to relax.  Painting with Lu was fun.  It didn't take long.  We didn't make a mess and she did great.  I forget sometimes that right now I'm her greatest teacher.  That she will learn how to view herself and others by watching me.  There will come a time when she won't want to have a thing to do with me so I better take advantage of her sweetness now.  We all make mistakes and messes.  That's what we're here for, and making them in an environment that is loving, and forgiving and safe will build her (and me).