Being Late & Being Accountable

T has ball practice 3 times a week.  It’s always the same days.  It’s always at the same time.

Sometimes it’s hard for him to be responsible regarding being ready for practice.

I've tried really, really, really, REALLY hard to make it easy to get ready.  Really.

There’s a spot for his gear, a spot for his water bottle, a spot and a system for his practice and game clothes.  He should be able to get ready in about 5 minutes.  My hope was that he would get into a system that would work for him.  And one that he would make work for him.  Sigh…some days go better than others.

Yesterday he wasn’t ready on time.  He had been reminded.  Then scolded.  Then reminded again. Then he got left behind because his ride had responsibilities too. 

Then Mom came home and I scolded, and huffed, then talked and pleaded.  Then drove.

It’s not as simple as him not wanting to play or practice.  He does.  He loves it when he’s there.  It’s the getting there that’s the issue.  I’m afraid he’s got the procrastination gene from me and I was really hoping it would skip a generation.

As we drove I reminded him of a player on his team who consistently doesn't give his best effort.  I asked him if he remembered telling me how irritating it is to work so hard and know they guy next to you isn't giving his all.  Then I told him, with all the love I could muster, that he wasn't being much better than that guy.  That by not being there on time he was basically telling everyone on his team he didn't think very much of them or himself.

Being committed is hard work.  It’s easy to do the stuff you want to and it stinks to do the stuff you don’t.  We talk a lot in our family about taking care of business and how the small things count.  When those are done and done right, it  leads to the big things.  The fun things and sometimes the even harder things.  Specifically for T, I want him to realize the level of control he has in his own life.  I want him to embrace it and not only expect a lot from himself, but achieve the standard he sets and know he can.  Get the have-to’s over with and get on to the want-to’s already!

Basically, it’s life, and he’s ten-going-on-eleven.  And I worry.  I worry that if I let it slide once then it will be easier for me and for him to let it slide again.  Is it the end of the world because he was late to one practice?  Absolutely not. Am I focusing so intently on the one tiny tree that I’m not seeing the forest?  I don’t think so.  What we repeatedly do becomes habit and shapes who we are. 

When we got to practice, I talked to his coach, in front of T.  Not to shame (well, ok, honestly maybe a little…) but not to demean.  I told him that T didn't have a good reason for being late.  He wasn't ready and missed his ride.  I told him T owed his coaches and team an apology and I expected him to work it out and get it done.  I also told him if he needed to run him extra for being late, we supported him in that. 

He looked shocked and didn't know what to say.  Then he kind of smiled, nodded his head and said, “Thanks.”

I know this is not the last time he will be late, do something insensitive, or (gasp) make a mistake.  T is an awesome boy.  And he will grow into an even better man.

When I picked him up I saw the last few minutes of their team meeting.  I saw him stand in front of his team/friends and coaches and then he took a knee again.  I didn't ask him what he said.  I just asked him if he took care of it and he said he did.  I hope he said he was sorry and meant it.  I was proud of him.  I hope he resolved in his heart to be more responsible.  And at the very least, to give it his best effort.